Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Lets talk about 'Facebook Games'

Your favorite nerdy asshole gamer girl is here with her normal dose of fart jokes, emotions, and cynical views on the world. I sort of dropped off for a bit as my finals came and ripped me a new asshole.

Today I'm tackling Facebook Games. Why do we hate them so much? It's like everyone except for a select few utterly despise them. They are:

  1. People with smartPhones who take long poops
  2. Middle aged people on Facebook
  3. Children
There's probably more but I think I've bastardized those stereotypical ones enough. But what is the stigma against the game that we hate so much? I'll try to break it down.
- Posting and announcing gameplay on your feed
- Inviting Friends to play to enhance gameplay
- Using real money to add to game play

1. Posting and Announcing on your Feed
I don't give a shit what your cow crapped out on Farmville 2 (spoilers: it's manure. Hopefully. Also does Farmville 2 harvest manure?) One of the worst things about games on Facebook is their constant desire to announce every little thing you've achieved in game. Frankie beat level 7 on Fuckfest Saga! Margaret spun straw into gold on FarmHouseCityLandTown! Sarah just passed Jimmy in the most embarrassingly brutal defeat possible on BubblePuzzleGame. Why does this game have the need to shout from the rooftops every little achievement? Because the game needs players to survive. If the game clearly doesn't have enough players, then it gets pulled, and that's it, the games over. It's similar to television showing a Chili's commercial in the middle of your reality show (mmm Chili's). As your scrolling through your news feed, it catches your eye. If you're into playing games (sometimes) this can get you interested. I admit this is how I got into the King games, was seeing it constantly pop up. I had to sit back and wonder "Well, shit, everyone seems to be playing, might as well see what's up." And it's hella fun.

2. Inviting Friends
This one is kind of a toss up for me. But it's the same as my friends telling me 'Hey get Pokemon X/Y' so we can trade Pokemon together!' But much much cheaper. Because Facebook games are free, and Pokemon (+ the 3DS) cost money. SO why was one invite acceptable and one wasn't? Maybe it's because on Facebook you can repeatedly send invites. You can do it in person too I presume but after a while I'd punch you in the face. It boils all back down to exposure and number of players: if the game hopes to stay afloat they need that traffic. But honestly asking if someone wants to play a (free) Facebook Game should not carry more stigma than asking someone to get Halo to play multiplayer. 

3. Real Money
FREE. FACEBOOK GAMES ARE FREE. How much money did it cost for you to download Candy Crush Saga onto your iPad? Oh, was it 0 dollars and 0 cents? With tax? Yes, that's right. It's a free-to-play game. So imagine what it's like being a game company that puts out a game that doesn't cost money to play. How do you make money to pay the people who helped make the game? There's where in-game purchases come in. To some people it's ridiculous, but honestly, to me, it seems completely normal. Here I feel that in-game purchases with real money is similar to buying DLC for a game you own already. How is purchasing power ups in Candy Crush any different than buying the L.A. Noire extra missions to play after you've already beaten it? Or buying items for your XBL avatar? Either way it's real currency used on 1's and 0's no matter how you look at it. And a digital market place is oddly similar to a physical marketplace in that they are almost the exact fucking same thing. Why does it matter how someone chooses to spend money? You might think it's silly that a guy spent $20 on extra lives on a game, but it could be equally ridiculous that you spent $20 on a game expansion pack like Dead Island: Riptide. To each their own.

And can I take a minute and talk about the 'hardcore gamers' who refuse to interact with 'filthy casuals' let alone play the games. Who cares? I enjoy first person shooters. I love RPGS but I'm not very good at them, my forte are Action/Adventure games. And yes, Puzzle games rock, so I found a puzzle game on a pretty easily accessible platform (Facebook) and I will play this game. The lives set up keeps me from playing too long, and the puzzles are new and fun. We all have different tastes in gaming, and god damnit, if I want to spend my time watering imaginary turnips (Is this Farmville? Or Harvest Moon?) then leave me be, you can go on murdering your imaginary aliens/communists.

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